Cane Caldo is no longer permitting comments from female readers on his blog.
As I’ve maintained: I write this blog for present and future husbands and fathers. Today that sentiment will become more visible. From now on, comments from women will be deleted. My hope is that this will encourage a more brotherly atmosphere. It is doubted in my mind if there has ever been a time or place where men (even Christian men) could talk frankly–and hear earnestly–in the presence of audible women (even Christian women).
This made me think of a piece of advice I recently had to give a friend. This friend works in the denominational offices of a church, and the church he works for operates several schools from grade schools through colleges. He told me that he can’t find women to show interest in within his denomination because the “the liberal ones are all for feminism and aren’t really into being wives, and the conservative ones would probably want to homeschool. I mean, I’m all for homeschooling, but since I work for the church I feel like I would need to send my kids to the church school.”
My response was “You need to stop caring about women’s beliefs.”
See, he fell into the trap of looking for someone that already held all of the same positions as he did. That’s never going to happen. Women are different than men. Women think differently than men. And that’s a good thing. As I told my friend “Your call is to lead your family, not to find someone that you don’t have to lead because they already think exactly how you would lead them.”
If my friend finds a woman who is willing to join herself to him and follow his leading, then it doesn’t matter if her current ideas conflict with the direction he will be leading. All that matters is whether she will follow his lead. This is why Cane’s move is a good one.
See, the men who go to Cane’s place go to learn how to better lead their wives and family in accordance with scripture. However, it is easy to get side-tracked in the comments and start worrying about how Christian women want to be led. The question about how Christian women want to be led is an irrelevant distraction from the question of how the Bible says one ought to lead.
It is impossible to lead by asking the led which direction they wish to be led at every crossroad. Yet this is how many Christian men approach the idea of leading their family. A proper leader insists on the path toward the final destination, even when the led think a different path looks more appealing.
Hopefully, the new atmosphere at Cane’s place will help men tune out for a moment the voices behind them proclaiming the beauty and ease of every crossing path, and focus instead on the final destination, and the path over which he must lead to safely deliver his family there.