What’s in a title?

A friend recently posted a link to an article titled: 9 reasons (you may not know) why Christian single ladies can’t find their Boaz, David or Joseph. There are some good points in this article. There are also a plethora of problems with it. Rather than addressing all of those problems, I will limit myself to the problems inherent to its title.

Why Boaz, David, or Joseph? There are plenty of other married men mentioned in the Bible. Why these three? Clearly, as an appeal to female hypergamy. These three men are listed because they were high status. Boaz was rich, David was king, and Joseph was second only to Pharaoh. A woman who is looking for “her Boaz, David, or Joseph” is not just looking for a husband–she is specifically looking for a high-status husband that will make her girlfriends jealous in a way that the low-status but reliable and devout guy from church that she blew off when he showed interest in her never will.

Secondly, the phrase “can’t find their Boaz, David, or Joseph” says more than that these women are specifically chasing status. It also clearly implies a pre-existing ownership. It says to women, “Not only are you right to demand a high-status husband, God already has one set aside for you somewhere. All you have to do is find him, and he will immediately be interested in you. There is zero possibility that he will blow you off like you blow off any low-status guy ‘creepy’ enough to show any interest in you” Of course, this ignores the fact that the Bible does not guarantee a spouse to anyone, let alone a high-status spouse.

Thirdly, let’s take a look at the actual marriages of Boaz, David, and Joseph. Boaz was an 80-year-old man who died the day after consummating his marriage to Ruth.  This is why Obed was named by neighbor ladies rather than his father. So, for the ladies looking for “their Boaz,” what that means is that you are looking for a one-day marriage to a man twice your age.

Maybe you’d prefer to marry a “David.” If so, I suggest looking among fundamentalist Mormon offshoot groups. Maybe bring some friends along. I just don’t know where else you are going to find a guy that’s actually willing to take on over 18 wives. One wife (or at least, one at a time) seems to be enough bitchiness for most men these days.

And if you’re looking to marry a “Joseph,” no need to look any further. You will be assigned by the whim of the king should you be chosen.

Now, I’m not saying there was anything wrong with the marriages of Boaz, David, and Joseph. None of those marriages are condemned by scripture. None of them break scriptural principals. I’m just telling you what you really ought to be looking for if you want to marry a “Boaz, David, or Joseph.”

Or you could stop looking for a “Boaz, David, or Joseph,” and get comfortable with the idea of marrying a solid man despite his lack of status. Realize that if you do your job right, he will gain status.

4 thoughts on “What’s in a title?

  1. More women would benefit from looking at the father that Christ chose, and making themselves more like his mother.

    But then, the realities of Christ and his life never were all that popular

  2. @Chad,

    Unfortunately, the article pretty explicitly states that the Joseph it is talking about is not that one, but rather, the one that had “a dream that people would bow down to him but became a slave and then a prisoner”

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